Women and girls are being murdered, raped, abducted, falsely imprisoned, and assaulted both physically and verbally (to say nothing of polygamy, racial hatred and truancy), - hang on, are we back in Afghanistan?
The book choice for this meeting, Daughters of Shame, explores the issue of
forced marriages in today’s Britain. It takes the form of a series of case
histories of people who have sought help to escape through the agency Karma
Nirvana, which was founded by the book’s author Jasvinder Sanghera.
Jasvinder was herself a victim of a forced marriage and is fully aware of
the circumstances her clients find themselves in. By contacting her agency
her clients risk being ostracized by their family. The alternative is to
marry the partner chosen for them.
We learnt that this situation has prevailed since the 1980s, and that there
is no refuge for people in this situation. Unhappily, the authorities
sometimes collude with the parents. The communities are very close and keep
a watchful eye on young girls, perceived aberrant behavior is invariably
reported back to the family and can have severe consequences.
The whole issue of forced marriage is probably too large, complex and
prevalent to ever be tackled by any government in power. We were all
surprised about the reluctance of schools to participate in a poster
campaign intended to promote awareness of the issue of forced marriage.
These poor girls who face an abrupt end to their childhood and are forced to
become fully functioning adults whilst being denied the joys of courtship,
something we take for granted, can only be pitied. We are completely unable
to help and it would appear that the Human Rights Act isn’t as effective as
its name suggests.
The discussion as usual was led by a series of questions:
How did the book make you feel?
Angry!!!
We didn’t think that sensitivity to cultural issues should take precedence
over the rights of British citizens. It would be seemly to debate the issue
of forced marriage and its attendant complications with the same amount of
media attention as is awarded to other cases where physical or psychological
abuse has been used.
It is nonsensical to apply the law of the land according to belief and
ethnicity, this will widen the cultural divide and lead to even more
mistrust and resentment.
Toleration should take second place to integration.
How important is this book and should it be made widely available?
We thought it should included in the curriculum.
Headmasters may say that it could encourage girls to invent instances of
abusive behaviour, however, having read about the importance of family and
family honour this seems highly unlikely.
What would you have done if your mum had packed you off to get married at
16?
We all thought we’d have rebelled or would have liked to rebel.
This situation isn’t dissimilar to that faced by our grandparents or great-
grand parents but they rebelled and made it unthinkable for women of our
generation to be treated in this way. Let’s not go back.
A sad footnote - the U.K government has withdrawn funding for the Karma
Nirvana telephone helpline.
We gave this book 5/5, not for its literary excellence but for its content
and the courage and conviction of its author.
Kudos Jasvinder Sanghera.
If you have read the book and would like to express your opinions on any of the above points, or any other aspect of the book, please post your comments below.
We’d love to hear from you.
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